Career / General

Dilemma of a Stay-at-Home Mom

They say it’s your rebirth when one gives birth to a child. I always thought it was said so because one undergoes through a lot of pain while giving birth. Actually a child’s birth revives ones spirit to live. It marks the beginning of a new role as a mother. It takes quite some time to settle down, may be few months or more. Once the home front was set, I soon started questioning myself about the role I want to be in. A role that takes care of family only or both, family as well as professional and hence the dilemma. How can I ensure that both ends, family as well as professional could be taken care of as per best standards laid by me? I need to perform at the level set by me.
My first born daughter came as a blessing in my life. Perhaps, she is the one who helped me question myself and come out of the dilemma. What kind of example am I going to set for her? I am not criticizing or thinking one is better than the other but only trying to put a clear picture forward. What choices do I give her when she grows up? If I can experience managing both and share my experience with her, would that not help her in decision making? But then, there are many things and many times when one needs to take a decision without experience. Of course, my experience would give a practical picture and give more clarity.
The next question that comes in mind is whether or not I would be able to do justice to both ends while being balanced. I need to address all home front issues under a cover without letting my work suffer by all means. The conflict arises when one is not ready to compromise and think direct supervision at alternative. It is here when one needs to make a choice.

Justice and Balance
Justice, the word itself brings just thoughts in your mind. Once one decides to take a step further, one is not done with it. The dilemma of whether I can do it or not still remains imbibed. It is a challenge well accepted and expected. One needs to judge oneself each and every day selflessly with a smile and take a step to begin a new day with pride. One needs to be careful not to be too involved in any front and draw a clear cut line between family and professional. Here comes the role of balancing. One needs to balance without neglecting either. One has to see that one does not overdo or compress. Balancing will minimize ones stress and help in achieving success in what one wants to do. It is a key to lead a blissful life.
Being all said, the strongest back has to be of a family. Without their support, it is out of the question to come out of dilemma.

Quality Support
Justice along with balance soon looks for quality support. They otherwise dangle on a weak rope. We all are aware that without a good support system, the dilemma to be successful in family as well as professional front gives way to number of doubts. Having a support system is not suffice. Sometimes we do hesitate or neglect this fact unknowingly. We, as a mom want to inculcate moral values, teach and ensure that quality time is spent with our little one. How do we ensure to pass it on without hurting the members in the support system? This is a basic necessity to ensure smooth working at both fronts. After all, it is a major responsibility to groom a child with pleasing personality. Quality support by family and colleagues secures a peaceful environment. This definitely results in good output.
Only a happy and contented life at any front will safeguard ones child’s future. It’s the choice that matters. Even after making a choice, one needs to come out of the dilemma and guarantee to pass on the traits one wants to see in ones child.
One faces many challenges to keep up the momentum going. These challenges can be financial, personal or professional. The growth curve of every family member including oneself has to be monitored from time to time. The decision one takes today may stand true at present but one may switch to the other after some time. After all, one looks for a contented life, growth, happiness and of not only oneself but all the family members.

Shalini Vaishnav is a Technical writer by profession and creative writer by heart. She lives in Noida with her family. In her free time, she loves writing and reading blogs, scribbling a few poetic lines, reading books and does little bit of gardening. She has been in the technical writing field for the past 26 years and started working as a freelancer for almost 8 years back. Her work as a freelancer includes writing both technical as well as creative article and editing write-ups.